Nowadays everyone keeps asking, "So, how's the change?"

And I am like, "Huh, what change?"

"Now you are married, so life must not be as carefree. You have responsibilities now."

At this, I want to turn and give it back to the person. For with this statement, he/she offends most the independent spirit in me. Call me whatever, but I do not agree that an unmarried person is in any way less responsible than a married one.

Yes, there are additions in life; a person, a family. And more than added responsibility, it's the added happiness and joy.

Any relationship has its give and take and the same is applicable in case of husband and wife. With your parents and siblings, you become accustomed as you grow up together. Similarly, you grow older with your spouse and with time, you get to know, understand and even tolerate [:)] the other more .

Okay, so I am not here to give gyaan on all this. I am too amateur yet and will take another decade to write on how to make your marriage successful.

Coming back to my point, a single person is not irresponsible. And if a person has stayed single for longer than most, then, for me, that person is more responsible than others might (might not) think them to be. Responsibility does not only encompass spouse and his/her family. It is more about oneself and family. The rest come in later which only accentuate that virtue in you.

I have lived and worked as a single woman for over 8 years and never once have questioned my responsibility towards myself or my family. I am proud of every decision I have taken in life and marriage has added to the dimension with which I look at life and relationships, not changed them.

It's not changed the person in me. I am definitely happier and more secured now. But yet again, I am the same person. I am equally independent and responsible as I was premarriage.

Call it a rant; I'd rather keep quiet than reply to the jerks who treat me responsible only now! And this is my personal space where I can rant, right, blogdosts?

Blogdosts, I know the post is so unlike me. I am tired of these questions. I mean, how can I become something overnight? Even if a change happens, that takes time to become apparent. For now, I am happy the way things are and my Doc will surely say the same :)

More soon. Take care and stay precious :)
Labels: , , , edit post
24 Responses
  1. If you find the right person as ur life partner den nothin in life is gonna change i think:) Lucky you found d one.. Stay Blessed.. :)

  2. Vijender : Says:

    I m glad you realise this post is so (much)unlike you... :)
    But yes, one has to vent out the anger somewhere n that is when blogdosts come into picture... lol..just joking :)
    With no expections,.we all admire you for the person you are..!!!

  3. Jenny Says:

    Came over from Chintan's blog :-)) Loved your wedding photos.. you look so pretty and happy!!! Congratulations!!

    Well yes, I think some people are jealous of the independant lives which we lived when we were single.. so really come on hard and are the first ones to corner you and remind you that you have had your fun and no you cant anymore!.. But how sad are there, how does being single or not have to do anything with fun.. Its all in the mind.. and as you truly said.. how the hell can you just change over night.. and why the hell are single people not responsible!!

  4. WTH yaar? I disgust it when people say, Now you are married, you can not do this or that or whatever! No two couples are similar, then who are they to judge or ask questions? Believe me, your tone was rather controlled and chilled out, I may have had really blasted. And, though I have not put much a thought in to how a single person is responsible, but when you mention it, I relate to it. Though there are extra responsibilities, or let's say, different kind of responsibilities when one is married, but that doesn't imply it is bad. It's different experience. simple.


  5. RiĆ  Says:

    U r not questionable to anyone and i hate ppl when they talk crap...and u sure sound very controlled and mature. I would ask these ppl to mind there own business.

    Anyways, I'd say don't bother abt such ppl...they have nothing better to do than to pose silly questions!

  6. Vyankatesh Says:

    Change is constant. And retaining your identity in such moments is a reflection of your strength.

  7. It just makes life better to have the person you love, by your side. right? :) And the two of you can always equal and take the share of responsibility :)

  8. Sagittarian Says:

    I love what was written, very inspiring of you.:) My first time here and I enjoyed your blog, thanks for sharing .:) I;m new follower..:) Keep sharing more! God bless you!:) Smile :)

  9. StephieAnne Says:

    I was just telling a friend of mine how frustrating it was when I was about to get married or soon after we were married as to how many people wanted to tell us "you just wait" - as if, they, who were already married, believed they were experts in the extraordinary and unique relationship that could never be duplicated between just John and I. It became a relief to get the first week, then month, then year under our belts to feel like I would no longer be questioned. I look back at those folks now with such security - compared to actually believing back then that they knew my and my new husband better than myself. The same applied to having kids and how much advice we were given then that was actually more detrimental than helpful.

    All's to say - enjoy yourself and YOUR wonderful husband!

  10. Neha Says:

    @MyNeverEndingThoughts - Thanks :)

    @Vijender - thank you so much :)

    @Jenny - Thank you. Can't change how some people think :(

  11. Neha Says:

    @Chintan - thank you :). Guess people who say it were irresponsible before their marriages :D

    @ Ria - thank you :)

  12. Neha Says:

    @Vyankatesh - I agree...thanks :)

    @Philo - Very right. It makes life more beautiful :)

    @Sagittarian - Thank you. Keep dropping by :)

  13. Neha Says:

    @StephieAnne - Thank you for sharing your experience. Alas, the story is the same everywhere. I have started ignoring these now and hubs and I share a good laugh whenever something like this is said to any of us. That's how we deal with all of that now.

    @phatichar - :)

  14. Jaggu Says:

    Marriage, it depends on how you take it..:)

  15. hello there neha, greeting from indonesia.
    i hope your marriage is full of happiness and lasts forever

    mind to visit my blog?

  16. Thank you once again for your comment :) No plans of posting? :)

  17. Kanika Says:

    Read your blogs..!! Ur style is impeccable.. Hats off :)

  18. Haddock Says:

    Yes like you said, the post is so unlike you.
    But at times one has to vent out some where.
    And again like you said, there are some annoying questions at times :-)

  19. You're a positive person, indeed!

  20. Renu Says:

    Neha.versatile blogger award is waiting for you on my blog:)

  21. sawan Says:

    :D the responsibility statement is like a cliche!! its a must ask qns to a newly wed :P I am sure, most of the time the person who asks the qns dsnt mean wut he/she is asking :P so chill madi and enjoi ur 'added responsibilities' lol :D stay blessed, stay happy :)

  22. Thank you so much for the comment. I'm glad you liked my story. Yes, I'm looking forward to when you post next :D