It's time I return to what I like best - blogging!!! Being away from this space doesn't necessarily mean that it's off your mind too. There was a time when I had ideas and stories flowing in my mind all the time and while writing a post, I knew what I was going to write in the next one and the next! And then there is this time, when I open the page to begin writing and go blank, then reluctantly, close the window altogether!
Let me begin somehow; for not doing it is an escape, which is not me! I guess I will begin with things that I desperately need to do for now!
Blog - Yes, that takes the top place on my list. Out of sight means out of mind, and I'd hate that! So, for now, I will try and write at least one post every week. That should be good enough to maintain a rhythm!
Make a trip Home - I plan it, then postpone it. I plan it again, I postpone it again. Then I actually get my tickets booked only to cancel them at the last moment! Well, this is how it's been! I can blame it to work, but surely it's not only work to be blamed. It's ME too! I fear returning to a home which will never be the same without Dadaji. The sense of loss is always there, day in and out; but to visit home, knowing that he will not be there at the door waiting for me, is heartbreaking. Even now, as I write this, tears have welled up in my eyes. I try and find consolation in thoughts like he is much closer to me now. I have a hand-sketched picture of his in front of my bed. At nights, I find myself having a one-sided conversation with him and every morning, I wake up seeing his smiling face. I tell myself that I can talk to him without even having to look at the watch now - I need not worry whether it is his bed time or a peak business hour. I feel his presence around me, as if protecting and guiding me. To be honest, I miss him more by the day, but I don't mourn him.
But I also realize that there are other people at home, for whom it's even more shattering to stay without him. And I need to be with them. I need to be with my sister and brother and I need them even more today.
Meet friends - I have not been meeting friends since December now. A person like me who has fewer friends cannot really afford to lose either of them. And yes, it's me who's not been making any effort to meet them. They call, they make plans....I ruin them or in softer words - back out! Some have even stopped talking to me now and I well understand why. But then, I really needed time with and for myself. It's not easy to laugh when you really can't and pretences are not for friends who really matter to you. I have had my time out and in the process, hurt people who care for me. Though it would be fake to promise to be my old self again; yet, I will make sincere efforts towards that.
Focus on my Fitness- How about meeting a general physician, an orthopaedic, a dermatologist and a gynaecologist at the same time??? Trust me, it's not as amusing as it might sound. And that's the kind of people I have been meeting the last couple of months! Except the orthopaedic, all say that it's stress taking me down. One of them even suggested to be in a deadline-free environment for some time. Now, is it possible to be dead and then alive after a while? For I am still to find a deadline-free zone in our current frenzied world! Blogdosts, your suggestions are welcome here.
Lose Weight - OK...I know that this one HAS to be on every girl's wish list, but I REALLY need to do something about it! I tried all the gyms near my place, and they are sad! Next I looked out for Dancing classes, but then that's only for weekends! Next I tried the famous GM diet. The very first evening had me throwing up the apple, oranges and papaya that I had had! Guess these fruits do not get along too well :(. So next is a light diet coupled with exercise at home. Let's see how this one works. Started this from today. Will keep you updated :)
Now, that's quite something for now! As for my next post, I know what it'll be about, so no black-outs for this week. And you never know, it might just come sooner than a week too :)
Till then, take care, blogdosts and stay precious. And yes, thank you all for bearing with me for a long time :)