Neha
So finally the rain Gods decided to bless us with some pleasant monsoons despite the weathermen predicting and forecasting them since early summers. I remember the radio people betting on Monsoons beginning in early June. I wonder from where does our Met department get all these calculations!

However, I enjoyed each bit of the first heavy showers of this season and was soaking drenched by the time I was home this evening. And indulging in steaming hot momos with cold coffee was heaven! I call this life and I love monsoons! The rain and the smell of the earth and the greenery around makes everything so beautiful. It was even more fun stepping into little puddles intentionally... reminded me of my childhood carefree days! Like I always say... I'll never wait for life to offer me goodies, I'd rather take all that I like and love :)))

Though on a serious note, I sure need to create a to-do list. Naah, I'm not inspired by dasvidaniya, but there sure is sooo much to do with equally less time. And when you are that hard pressed for time, it's best to prioritize tasks (sounds one of those management gyan.. I know!). Aah, btw, I just switched jobs. It was kind a difficult, having to leave a place where you've been settled for quite some time and moving to a new one where you'd need to begin from scratch and prove yourself all over again. Though along with all this comes a lot of excitement and nervousness with a fresh perspective. As for me, this was a welcome change and I'm looking forward to all that this new phase has to bring. It's too early to talk about the new place just now, but will sure tell you all once am a little settled in here. 2009 seems to get better with every passing day :).

And yes, I have some more good news to share :). My book is finally under print... something I'd been working towards since January! Meanwhile I'm finalizing the cover and preface/acknowledgement. Sounds heavy na!!! But trust me, nothing better than the feeling when I actually present its first copy to my Grand Dad. Yeah, it's a surprise for him, something I'd planned for his birthday... but will get delayed by a few weeks now. Nevertheless, I just can't wait to see his reaction when I do that finally!

For my blogdosts, I'll be continuing with Is This Love series... :). Till then, keep guessing what happened next... if you have any guesses or suggestions, do write back :)

Take care and be precious :)

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Neha

But, she couldn't do this! Wasn't it she who refused so many proposals because she was not in the right frame of mind... or so she said! Why is it that everyone she turns for help, they would all tell her to go ahead... follow her heart! What did she want? What did her heart want?

The bed seemed sore, so she went out to her balcony to get some fresh air. The sky beamed with moonlight with tiny stars sparkling around. The air was uninviting and warm, yet she stood there. Somehow, the heat seemed bearable compared to the loneliness in her room. She looked at the stars. There was a time when she used to make a wish on seeing the first star in the evening sky... and would make the same wish every day till it got fulfilled or till she felt that it was not worth wishing for any longer. On nights of sleeplessness, she'd go up to her bed room window and have a monologue with the moon for hours. Those nights were her dearest friend with whom she could talk with no bars.

She also dreamt.... dreamt of making it big in her career.... dreamt of marrying a man who'd love her selflessly.... dreamt of living in a family... her family.... with her soul mate... dreamt of all the little happiness every girl dreams of. Then, no dream was distant. They were her ways of reassuring herself that life would give her all that she has always longed for. In fact, she never waited for life to bestow her with happiness... she worked towards them and got them!

And today, she was wary of it all. Had she forgotten to steal those little joys from life? Had she forgotten to accept happiness gracefully? Were those dreams, those wishes a farce? Now, when life is blessing her with all that she always wished for, why is she turning her back to it? Questions clouded her mind and she looked up to her long-lost friend, the moon, for answers. But there was no response. It stood there silently watching her as if telling her that she needs to take a stand for herself... she needs to decide what she wants... she needs to make a choice, which will be her choice. She looked up, closed her eyes and listened... listened to the gentle rustling of the leaves in the night wind... listened to the quite sounds around her... listened to her heartbeats and listened to what her heart said to her.

She opened her eyes and returned to her room. Picking her cell phone, she typed a message - I know he'll always be with me and keep me happy and somewhere within, I love him too. His unconditional love gives me assurance and I'm sure about him now :). She sent the message to the person who was the pillar of her strength and smiled. She was in love... she knew now :)))

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Neha

'What's the use of me staying in a flat, when you always stay with relatives when visiting Delhi???'
'Staying with you means loss of time.... everything is so far from our place... and am coming for business... not pleasure!'
'Fine... go wherever you want... why will you listen to me? Anyways, let me know when you reach Delhi.... take care... bye.'

And so ends the conversation. And this is so usual whenever Dad is visiting Delhi. He prefers to put up with relatives in Old Delhi... something that I naturally don't like! And that's something I hate about having a business family background.... Dad never has time for me! But I guess, even those with their parents in service would have similar views :(.

So when Ankit called me last Wednesday and told that they'll reach home at 11 pm, it surprised as well as made me happy. So finally, he decides to stay with me and of course, his ego will never allow him to call me and tell me that! My dad, I tell you!

But it's always been like that between me and him. It's a special bond that only we two understand. Like any father, he always expected the most from his first child and in this case, it was me :(. I remember hiding my test copies from him as even 19/20 was never good enough; so when he asked me if I wanted to study in a boarding, I readily agreed! Why not... Dad wouldn't be there to see my marks! And then, he ensured that I never got anything that easy! In fact, I was made to earn it. So if I wanted that doll with the pink bag, I had to achieve a certain position in class! My first skates were the prize for getting through my boarding school's entrance exam and my first basketball was the reward for winning a competition! He always wanted me to be there... on the very top... ahead of everyone.... while I always feared that I might fail him!

After Mumma, Dad changed but little did his zeal diminish..... his zeal to see me excel in everything. He was never so strict with Shivani and Ankit and I felt trapped... amidst his expectations, hopes and dreams. But yes, never did he push his decisions on me. I was free to decide which subjects I wanted to study, how I wanted to shape my career, where I wanted to pursue my studies and I know he'll not question me even once when I tell him about the guy I'd want to marry! Though he was taken aback with my decision to work in Delhi.... who-so-ever has heard of a girl working in our entire family! But Dad has always been the one to define the norms and not simply follow them. After all, he sent his daughters to a boarding school and not his son, and now when his daughter wanted to work away from home, he was all there for her. He told my uncles, 'I've brought her up that way... After all, I want to see her independent and take her decisions for herself. ' I still admire the kind of confidence these words of his ... not in me, but his upbringing. Staying in a city not your own, working, and then making decisions that seemed so trivial with Dad around, was not an easy task. There were occasions when I broke down on a call with him and told him that I wanted to return home. All he says then is - 'No worries... ghar aa jaao... business dekho... par khush raho; aur yeh sab toh chalta hi rahega... bhaago nahi, saamna karo.'

True that he's not my idol, but he is a source of my strength. In those times when I want to give up, it's his words that make me go on. I don't share everything with him, but even then, I know that he trusts me completely. A typical businessman, he will only talk business, as for him, a general conversation is loss of time (n I hate that!). At times I wonder, who does he love more - his business or us! Shivani says it's his business, Ankit says it's his work... but Dad had once said - he loves me the most :))), and I boast of this even after 11 years of him having said that!
Completely at a loss of words when it comes to expressing himself, Dad is a vulnerable sweetheart! We dread his anger, but as all children, know how to work around it! And he would never let me hug him! And he'd never look into the camera when clicking a picture! (You'll know what I mean when you see this picture :) )

And when yesterday, during breakfast, he said, "It's not a small thing to stay alone, work away from home and establish yourself, especially for a girl and I feel proud of all that you've done," I knew I'd not let him down. The spark in my father's eyes told me that he actually loves me the most and even though he'd never say it, I know that we mean the world to him!

I love you Dad, for all that you are and for making me what I am today and most importantly, for being my father!

And blogdosts... sorry for not keeping my promise about posting the second part of 'Is it love?' Rest assured, it is coming next :)

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Neha

Another interesting week ... with lots of action, drama, melodrama and comedy too! Sounds fun, ain't it??? But trust me, it's not all that great when you are at the center of all this commotion! And you have to act.... and act quick! And you guessed it right... I was the queen in this entire drama! Nonetheless, things seem to be on their way to settling down now... and once they do, I'll narrate the story (or stories???) to you, pucca promise :).

On a different note..... Is it actually possible for two people to get this close when they have never met or known each other... just may be a common channel through which they meet online? The online chats graduate to telephonic conversations... and then they meet and realize that they've known each other since forever! They both belong to different cultures, backgrounds.... yet, there had always been something that kept them together. A rare bonding... a special connection... or putting it in a filmy way - kismat connection! Then they come together, get engaged and are now on their way to get married this month! This is actually a true story of a friend. I was seeing her engagement pictures on Orkut and each one of them made me smile.... smile for the happiness I felt for them ..... smile at the ways of destiny, but that's how it is! They both met on Orkut, became the best of friends and are now soul mates! Isn't it simply amazing? Someone up there sure has devised wonderful means of uniting two individuals who otherwise are complete strangers to each other! And you know what, blogdosts! This makes me believe in those lines - kahin na kahin... koi toh hai.... (Can someone complete these lines for me... I have forgotten :( ) Cheers to them and may God Bless them with all the happiness and love!

On a lighter note, I am on my way to putting on a few extra pounds (OK, I know that's sooo not light!). And the blame for this goes to all those chocolates I am gorging on day and night and the person who's pampering me with hoards of them! But who doesn't like attention and if you ask me, I'm loving it! Been long since I felt so pampered. I remember Papa leaving a chocolate by my pillow every morning, but that was in school and I sooo miss those days! Then of course there were people who've always gifted me chocolates... but this time it's different! These chocolates are specially ordered for me... and this gives me the extra high :))). Okkkk, I know I'd better put a brake on this over-indulgence... sigh... why do all good things in life come with a price tag??

And by the way, I have been trying to write this post for more than 3 hours now and seem completely lost now! Too many thoughts seem to be clouding my mind ... so I think I'll leave it to this. And for my next post, it will be Part 2 of my previous one - 'Is this love?'

And one random thought while leaving - If only life could be simpler....... but then, what fun would it have been anyways! I'll leave you with that... take care and be safe :)

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Neha

So it's already the sixth month of the year. Time seems to have grown wings on it... and though each day seems so long, months pass in a no time!

The last month has been an eventful month for me with some great news coming my way! And what is it about? Well, that's about someone who is one of the most important part of my very being. The person who taught me the way to love selflessly, the value of patience and made me feel the essence of motherhood. From being a little shy boy, who would hide behind me when anyone came close to him (it seems like only yesterday!), he is now a big boy... independent, smart, caring, sensitive and loving. Yeah, I was one of those freaking out over the declaration of Board Exam results! I've never been so anxious about Shivani's results as we all have always known her to be a topper. But with Ankit, it's been a little bit of a roller-coaster ride! But today... I am soooo proud of him! He has fared excellently and given me one of the biggest joys! And what did I gift him? You wish that he'd let me get away without that! He sure got what he wanted... but the joy and happiness that he gave us all is priceless :)))

Trip back home was great as usual, but too short! Sometimes, I think what fun is life living away from your family and meeting them a few times in a year. And even before you start spending time with them, it's time to bid Goodbye. But life is how we choose it to be... and this is what I have chosen for myself... no regrets for sure.... But even I can be homesick! And this time Shivani made some awesome chocolate brownies for me... love her for that and everything else :)... At least, she is putting the microwave to good use. And yeah, there is a new member in our family... another pet dog! So that makes them 2, but this little one is cute beyond words. He doesn't seek attention, but demands it!!! See for yourself to believe it :)

I really wanted to bring him along with me, but then that would have been cruel at my end :(... so dropped the idea! The next time I go home, he will be as big as the older one and may be a little less naughtier too... you know something... while writing this, I'm actually missing him! I am waiting for the day when I can get myself a nice pet in 'my' home!

And then, there were some events that did irritate me! First, too many people trying to act smart with anonymous comments here! I have simply removed that option from my blog completely. Hope to give me peace of mind on that front. And then, some people trying to act smart otherwise, rather thinking of themselves to be Bonds! My golden words to them - Go, get a life! (I know that sounds so unlike Neha, but then, my blogdosts will also understand that am only human :) )

And yes blogdosts, I will update you about the confused girl... let me get them first :)
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