Neha

It had been a long day. She returned home, took a shower and placed herself comfortably on her bed, looking around for the remote control. Switching on the TV, she checked her cell phone again... may be there's a text. The cell screen showed the time again... four hours already and no text since then!

She toys with the idea of calling him, picks up her mobile... then snaps it shut. But, there's no harm in calling anyway. Just then, her cell phone rings. It is him! Nonchalantly, she answers the phone, while her heart pounced as if she was going to run a 100 metre dash!

"Hi, what's up?"

"Nothing, surfing channels... you tell me.."

"Nothing much either; just returned with friends after dinner, so thought of calling you..."

"Hmmm... so what else..."

And this goes on for hours and at some occasions, the entire day or night! Even with nothing common between them, these conversations last for hours, with each one reluctant to disconnect. They talk, share, laugh, fight, cry, fuss, pamper... all during these conversations. Cell phone has become the prime of her survival with texts and calls becoming the constant blood flow. What is it? Is it simply the presence of this person at the other end that is so important?

They have known each other for years and been the closest of friends. Even though they have barely met 6-7 times, they share the rarest bonding. He has always been there for her, even when not with her and she prizes him as one of the closest persons in her life. Every event is a reason to call him, to speak to him, to know his reaction or simply listen to him. She can share her darkest secrets with him, her silliest thoughts, her most coveted desires, her hidden fears, her forgotten dreams... and she does all this because she knows that in him she has a friend, a guide, a listener and probably... the biggest admirer. There are no pretensions, just an honest, pure and extraordinarily beautiful relation, which makes both of them feel complete and most importantly.... happy. She has seen relationships, but never similar to this one.

There is this constant urge to just be around there... somewhere. She feels elated of late... more content and more secured. She is unable to relate to this feeling as it's not something she has felt before. She argues with herself, fights with her heart, struggles with her emotions and then... gives in to her feelings and even those words that seem to be on the verge of spilling out. Unable to comprehend the sudden change in and around her, she questions herself and each time ends up with more questions than she can answer. Sometimes, she looks for those answers in people around her, and then withdraws to her shell seeking them within.

But there's one answer that can help clear all her confusion.... that one question that she poses to herself each time and the answer to which is what she has been running from........ Is this love?

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Neha

OK, now that I am back to my blog space, time to complete unfinished tasks. First, some great news for all my blogdosts.... Gagan is home :)))) and I sure am all smiles. Thank you all sooo very much!!

I'll start with my first tag... courtesy Ani :). Hmmm... 25 random things about me... should be easy, considering that I always have so much to write :)

  1. I love rains... anytime, anywhere! If it is raining, I will always have a reason to be out in the rain :D
  2. Basketball is the only way to workout for me and sometimes, other games. But NO gym, yoga, walks etc etc... life cannot get more boring then :(
  3. Family and friends top my priorities in life... anything for them :)
  4. I still love watching cartoons and can watch Tom & Jerry for hours with my 5 year nephew :)
  5. Chocolates & Salman Khan are my forever favorites!
  6. Natural is the look for me... kajal & lip gloss do the magic :)
  7. The color I wear depends on my mood :)
  8. A vegetarian, I am not fussy about food, but mushrooms and ladyfinger are two things I'd always avoid :)
  9. Watching aeroplanes and waving at them is something I cannot resist :D
  10. Cooking is a stress buster for me. And I am one big ghar-ka-khana fan :)
  11. Everything I do (Bryan Adams) is a song I can listen to forever (I've always dreamt of my dream guy singing/playing it for me :) )
  12. If I set my heart on something, there is nothing stopping me then. Stubborn, impulsive...whatever...that's me :)
  13. I am not a big ice cream fan; but am game for Mother Dairy's chocolate chips anytime :D
  14. I rarely get angry, but when I do, it's bad! Only family and very close friends have seen it and they sure know what it is!
  15. When shopping, I end up buying something in black.... impulse or choice...don't know... but you have to see my wardrobe to believe it!
  16. I rarely paint my finger-nails, but my toe-nails always have a color on :)
  17. I can be really difficult at times and my mood swings are sure not easy to handle!
  18. If I have decided on doing something, I will plan it out to the finest detail, even if it's a small trip to my hometown :)
  19. I cannot see my home messed up AT ALL... yeah, that's one Virgo trait that drives people around me crazy!
  20. Sports interest me, but I watch cricket only when Team India plays! IPL... ICL... etc etc don't make sense to me!
  21. I love all seasons - winter chill for the pleasure of hot Bournvita milk/ginger tea in the coziness of my bed; summers for water melon and musk melon; monsoons for the rains and the smell of the earth in the season; springs for making everything so bright and colorful and autumn for the rustling sound of dried leaves while you walk :)
  22. I am not a music fan, but love reading Indian fiction! Ruskin Bond inspires me :)
  23. I don't like mangoes! (Now, don't stare in disbelief!)
  24. If I really want something, I can make it happen! & I have everything in me that it can ask for.
  25. I am a believer & I strongly believe in love - for family, friends and for that special person in your life. If you can't love, you'll never know the true worth of life!

Couldn't be more random than that! And like I said, I can go writing for hours. And yes, you guys will see more activity here in days to come.... there's so much I have already planned on writing... so keep reading and keep writing :)




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Neha

Minute after minute, hour after hour
Days pass and weeks fly...
Leaving me lost in the memories
of those moments when you sat by...
While I only looked at you...
and the love in your eyes;
Just listened to the words you spoke
in the midst of happiness... but why?
Why did I forget the bitter truth?
That another moment you will bid me bye.
You have gone, but I sit lost
in your words, heaving a sigh...
When next will you come to me?
When next will you sit by???
How much I miss you today...
It brings tears in my eyes...
to think that there are still many moments
still many hours... still many days...
That have to pass by.....

PS - Don't get your minds racing :). A composition I wrote years back (almost 10 years now!) , but felt like posting it here today. In fact, there are many others I love to go back to in moments of solitude. Yeah... will surely post more of them, but you'll have to wait for the time and my mood... I know that's being wicked :D
(BTW, this is the first post which got no spelling errors in the first go!!!)

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Neha

Been quite some time, eh! Yeah, I know... after all, my resolution to write only after Gagan recovers. And I am back, keeping true to my promise with a new post! Come on, Smile now :))

First things first, a BIG THANK YOU to all my blogdosts! Wish I could express it better here. Nevertheless, A very big thank you from the core of my heart for all your prayers and wishes for Gagan. Prayers work miracles and unfold those magical elements that we yearn earnestly for. Your prayers gave Gagan the strength and resistance to hold on and so he did. Yes, he is recovering; though, will take some time to return to his usual self. Last Sunday, I asked him if he remembered my blog and he nodded. Then I told him that I have not written since he's there and asked if he wanted me to write. He held my hand tighter... and... smiled. And trust me, no other moment has given me more happiness in the past one month! After this meeting, there seemed to be a spring in me; I was laughing, talking and even playing with a ball outside the ICU (something that Lagan , Gagan's younger brother, noticed and pointed out to me!)!

The day when Gagan did not respond to me, I was shaken to the core; but when Zaffar asked me to get all Ruskin Bonds for him to keep my promise, a new sense of hope and faith came within me. Thank you Zaffar for restoring the faith and belief within me, which had forsaken me then. Your unrelenting patience gave me the strength to look forward. And thank you Lagan, for it was your never-say-die attitude that gave us the courage to stand upright. Until this incident, I had only heard about you, but when I met you, I felt I've known you since forever. I had resolved not to meet Gagan till he doesn't call for me (I know that was being stupid and childish!) and even did that for a week when Lagan messaged me saying that I should meet him for the sake of Gagan and myself. And the next day, when I met Gagan, he responded to everything I said! Zaffar and Lagan, our Bunty-Babli jokes stay between us, but they sure gave us all these fun and light moments! (God, if only they come to know who I am referring to!!)

Thank you Pushkar! If it had not been for you in these testing times, I would not have known who to turn to! From educating me about all those reports written in Greek (yeah, your medico language rather) to all those GCS readings (each one of us asks for the latest GCS reading when they go to see Gagan!) to listening to me and just being there always has been the greatest support. I am glad you are a doctor, but happiest that you are my friend!

And Jalpesh (if at all you read this!), thanks for ensuring that a bed is not booked for me there :). I have been cooking religiously for 3 weeks now and I am proud of you for making me do that!

The last one month has truly been a month of realizations and redefining priorities in life. Life gave us all a lesson of how unpredictable it can be and the blow came unexpected from nowhere, leaving us all helpless. There were moments of despair, but then the very thought that despair is contagious, the other one would hide their tears and bring up a smile to ensure that others did not fall weak. Then, there were those moments when even a small gesture brought immense joy to one and all. Each day in the last month has been full of prayers, hopes, faith, determination, bonding and.... love! And a month when I met some more wonderful people I now admire for all of their patience, faith and strength. Thank you, Almighty!

While I am writing this, its 6.51 am by the watch and birds are chirping to glory outside my balcony. The same language that I've never understood, but which has always indicated a new day, a new beginning and a new life to me. I guess I will go, stand for a while on my balcony, watch the rising sun, listen to the birds a little more closely and have a little tete-a-tete with the Superior one out there. I know He listens!

PS - I, hereby, promise a new post at regular intervals; and blogdosts, you can define these intervals and I promise not to let you down! :)

(The credit for this goes to you, Ashish.. thanks a mighty ton :)
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