Someone told me that each one should have their support system in place. A support system consisting of family, friends, companion, near and dear ones; on whom you can rely, trust blindly, who you know will stand by you and with matter how difficult the situation, how hard the circumstances, how testing the times.

Very true. We all need a support system in place as an individual can break down if faced with storm from all corners of life. But what support system are we talking of here? One that stands by you when you take your decisions or the one that stands by you when you take those decisions that they agree with? Which of the two is a true support system?

My pick is the one that is with you, that stands by matter how high the tide or how deep the waters. It IS THERE and you know that you need not worry because you have their support. The individuals in your support system might not agree with your decisions, but even then, they will keep their all aside because they have to be there for you. They will not force their decisions on you; rather, they will back your decision. And they will not do so blindly. They will do it because they have faith in you and your actions, they believe in you and they know you.

A family is a great support system for many of us, especially in India. Each one of us share a special bond with our families. Then we have our siblings, cousins, friends and so on. Think for a moment of your support system - your family, siblings, companion, friends etc. Lost the count....Great for you :)

But just close your eyes for a minute and think who all will be there WITH you if you take a decision against their wishes? .......
....Did you do that? How many faces flashed in your mind (and heart)? You need not tell me, but yes, that is your true support system. I am sure there was a contradiction to who you thought were in your support system and those you know truly are. If there isn't, then, you are indeed lucky.

I, too, closed my eyes for that minute and my instinct surprised me! I saw my father, a person who is not my idol, with whom I do not share the so-called great father-daughter relationship. It's a bond and it is special as despite us always facing towards different poles, I know he WILL be there for me, even when I wrong him, even when I make a decision against his wish, even when I outrage his ego and belief. I know not why, maybe because he is my father.

Then I saw my Dadaji - my hero, my idol. And I know why he was there. Because, he has always been there. And I saw my Godmother - my cousin sister, who has been there for me like my mother would have been, if she were here.

And I say my, he is not my brother, he's not even remotely related to me. My friends who know me will know who am I referring to here. He is a God sent Messiah for me, in whom I have most trust and faith.

And I saw a couple of friends - who I can call at 2 a.m and cry my heart out; who, I know, are just one call away.

That's my support system. None of them live with me, but they are never farther away. I don't talk to them all the time, I don't share everything with them; even then, I know they will be there always. My actions might hurt them, but their love and belief in me will never waver.

Take that minute out and think earnestly of your support system. Going with the flow is easy, it's going against it that makes the going tough. When life hurls situations, that is the true testing time not only for an individual, but for his/her support system as well. It's one thing to say and another to do. On a crossroad, you will always have options - one, that your heart agrees to; the others that your people agree to. Of course, everyone will have ther opinion, which they will think is right. But how many will take into account what you say and feel and then say - 'Go on. I am with you. Right or wrong, good or bad, we will face it together as that is what you want to do.'?
That, my friends, is true support system!
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5 Responses
  1. Anonymous Says:

    Well, there are very interesting points that you have brought forward in this blog of yours, and many more, where one needs to ponder upon.

    I buy all your points to a larger extent but, I have some other points which either goes on to elaborate what you have written, and/or contradict some.

    I don't want to comment on this untill you allow me to, as it may offend you(which is not my intention) or the whole thing is taken in a bad taste (which, once again, i would not like to).

    Lemme know.


  2. Neha Says:

    @ Aamir - Every one has their opinion, which others may judge to be right or wrong. However, that should not deter someone from expressing what they feel. Please feel free to share your points. I will be glad to know them :)

  3. Anonymous Says:

    Thanks for the liberty given.

    Well,I do agree that one should always have a support system, and I agree by the definition that you have given to this phrase.

    But, i don't totally agree by the point that tyou mentioned that the Support System (read friends here) should be there when one takes a decision...right or wrong.

    As far as right is concerned, no one is really bothered, but yes when one discusses his decision (read wrong decision) then its the duty of that support system (SS) to guide oneself to the right way.

    Surely he/she is there for you, come what may, but that doesn't mean that he/she let you commit a mistake. If he/she is not doing that, the the system itself is wrong.

    I don't say that he/she should force down his decision or verdict on you, but yes, he/she should let you the pros and cons, whats wright and whats wrong, and then, if you still happen to stand by the decision you have taken, then surely the test of SS comes, b'coz it is then that the SS has to be very strong to supoort you, coz he/she know that the decision taken is worng or may lead to ugly concequences.

    b'coz, in my view, SS is not only your support, but in times, your guide, your source of strenth, your philosopher along with being a shoulder to cry on and a shoulder to support!!!

    And if you agree with my definition of SS, then surely, SS has lot to do than just being a shoulder.

  4. Neha Says:

    @ Aamir - I completely agree with you. And you have, indeed, brought forward many valid points. And yes, the support system means much more than just provide support. If you'd read the post again, read in between lines... you will see your points are very much there as well :)

  5. Anonymous Says:

    Neha, though they are there, but every now and then, each of them seem to be contradicting each other at some point.

    Anyways, now that you agree with what I have written, there's nothing much to add now.

    I appreciate your kind gesture to let me write my views, which may/maynot have been the same as yours.

    Many thanks.