Someone told me that each one should have their support system in place. A support system consisting of family, friends, companion, near and dear ones; on whom you can rely, trust blindly, who you know will stand by you and with matter how difficult the situation, how hard the circumstances, how testing the times.

Very true. We all need a support system in place as an individual can break down if faced with storm from all corners of life. But what support system are we talking of here? One that stands by you when you take your decisions or the one that stands by you when you take those decisions that they agree with? Which of the two is a true support system?

My pick is the one that is with you, that stands by matter how high the tide or how deep the waters. It IS THERE and you know that you need not worry because you have their support. The individuals in your support system might not agree with your decisions, but even then, they will keep their all aside because they have to be there for you. They will not force their decisions on you; rather, they will back your decision. And they will not do so blindly. They will do it because they have faith in you and your actions, they believe in you and they know you.

A family is a great support system for many of us, especially in India. Each one of us share a special bond with our families. Then we have our siblings, cousins, friends and so on. Think for a moment of your support system - your family, siblings, companion, friends etc. Lost the count....Great for you :)

But just close your eyes for a minute and think who all will be there WITH you if you take a decision against their wishes? .......
....Did you do that? How many faces flashed in your mind (and heart)? You need not tell me, but yes, that is your true support system. I am sure there was a contradiction to who you thought were in your support system and those you know truly are. If there isn't, then, you are indeed lucky.

I, too, closed my eyes for that minute and my instinct surprised me! I saw my father, a person who is not my idol, with whom I do not share the so-called great father-daughter relationship. It's a bond and it is special as despite us always facing towards different poles, I know he WILL be there for me, even when I wrong him, even when I make a decision against his wish, even when I outrage his ego and belief. I know not why, maybe because he is my father.

Then I saw my Dadaji - my hero, my idol. And I know why he was there. Because, he has always been there. And I saw my Godmother - my cousin sister, who has been there for me like my mother would have been, if she were here.

And I say my, he is not my brother, he's not even remotely related to me. My friends who know me will know who am I referring to here. He is a God sent Messiah for me, in whom I have most trust and faith.

And I saw a couple of friends - who I can call at 2 a.m and cry my heart out; who, I know, are just one call away.

That's my support system. None of them live with me, but they are never farther away. I don't talk to them all the time, I don't share everything with them; even then, I know they will be there always. My actions might hurt them, but their love and belief in me will never waver.

Take that minute out and think earnestly of your support system. Going with the flow is easy, it's going against it that makes the going tough. When life hurls situations, that is the true testing time not only for an individual, but for his/her support system as well. It's one thing to say and another to do. On a crossroad, you will always have options - one, that your heart agrees to; the others that your people agree to. Of course, everyone will have ther opinion, which they will think is right. But how many will take into account what you say and feel and then say - 'Go on. I am with you. Right or wrong, good or bad, we will face it together as that is what you want to do.'?
That, my friends, is true support system!
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Life seems to have come to a standstill again. Yes, this Neha has changed back to her old self. She can no more see the magic wand, which she hoped will change her life. Her dreams of and for future have been shattered. She is weary of fighting to save her identity, her happiness, which were truly never there. She thought that a changed and positive perspective can win over the world, but she was wrong.

Yes, I was wrong! And here I am, crying in pain, misery and lonliness. Of course, I am strong...for have I not fought with my own destiny to reach where I am today. But does being strong mean that you can't fall weak ever? It is a common saying that never mistake your enemy to be weaker than you or your over-confidence will let you down. Life is my opponent and I have never mistaken it to be a weaker one.

I know it's strange to read such thoughts from a person who always wrote about the brighter side of things, who always sounded positive, chirpy...happy. I seem to have lost that part of me and I confess that I have lost it to my strongest opponent - Life! I have failed.

My readers might find it wierd and may have words of wisdom and consolation for me; but dear friends, no words or thoughts can soothe the pain I am going through. The medicine has to come from within me, I know. But I am afraid, I have lost the strength to fight it out. I have lost it all...

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When life throws lemons at you, make lemonade out of it – I read this somewhere and found it rather amusing. For how many of us really get such ideas when they are being stoned with not so lemony lemons from all nooks and corners of life.

But as a friend pointed out, it’s a matter of perspective; how you perceive things is all that makes a difference. A very close friend will simply curl up in a corner even if she senses the slightest turmoil in her life. She’d excuse herself out of every trouble saying that she cannot handle responsibilities. It all seemed to gel in with the personality of a college-going girl. Such remarks then would simply make me start on one of my ‘Grow Up’ lectures (how grown up was I never bothered me). I got chatting with her online yesterday and she made the statement again. Now, she is a wife and a mother. This statement definitely did not suit her now. And then I realized that it had actually become a part of her being – to close all doors and windows and hide in the safest corner even if it became a little breezy outside. Does the wind scare her or the aftermath – I still have to discover. But what I still wonder is whether we can make such statements when we have so many responsibilities to shoulder? For some, it may be a way of life; for others, running away from life. A matter of perspective again.

Another friend will smile even after bricks fall on her head…literally! Not that nothing affects her. Everything does. She faces them, reacts accordingly (right or wrong) and gets over with it. Nothing stays in there for any longer than it is required.

Don’t know what is the right approach…or what is correct, incorrect. And who decides it? For in a situation, if u think about others, setting yourself aside…the lemons become sore and if you think about yourself, you are termed selfish. What is the right way? Can someone tell me?
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